The Groom

Contrary to popular belief, the groom's role in organising a wedding extends far beyond deciding what to wear at the stag party and managing to turn up at the church in a presentable manner. Firstly, there is the small matter of the engagement ring to choose and buy. Then he needs to arrange the legal aspects of the wedding, choose the best man and ushers and decide what they will wear, organise the honeymoon, buy a wedding ring and a gift for the bride, and make a speech. Finally, he should help take some of the pressure off his bride to be by assisting with her arrangements as much as possible.

The Groom's Duties

Before the wedding day, the groom needs to:

• Buy the engagement ring
• Compile the guest list with his family to give to the bride's mother
• Choose the wedding venue, photographer and reception with the bride
• Choose his best man and ushers
• Choose outfits for himself, the best man and the ushers
• Choose the wedding rings with the bride
• Obtain the marriage licence and, together with the bride, check all the legal aspects of the wedding
• Pass the legal documentation, rings and church fees to the best man
• Arrange a honeymoon either with the bride, or as a surprise for her
• Check that passports and visas are valid, ensure that inoculations are arranged, and order travellers cheques and foreign currency as required
• Prepare the speech for the reception
• Enjoy his Stag Night!

On the day itself, he should:

• Get dressed and ready, keeping as calm and relaxed as possible
• Arrive at the church with the best man in good time - at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is due to start

At the ceremony, he will:

• Sit in the front right hand pew with the best man
• Sign the register with the bride
• Leave the ceremony, with the bride on his left, to begin the formal photographs
• Travel with his new bride to the reception

At the reception, he should:

• Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests - introducing his new bride to friends and relatives who have not previously met her
• Give the second speech of the evening, following the bride's father's speech
• Thank the bride's parents for his 'new bride' - and all those involved in the organisation of the wedding - the speech should include a toast to the bridesmaids
• Cut the cake with his new wife
• Ask his bride for the first dance of the evening

Financially, he is responsible for paying for:

• The engement ring
• The bride's wedding ring
• The stag party
• Hiring of his own, the best man's and the ushers' suits
• Transport for best man and himself to the ceremony
• The civil or church ceremony fees
• Transport away from the ceremony to the reception for himself and the bride
• Presents for the bride, bridesmaids, pages, ushers and best man
• Present for the bride's parents from himself and the bride
• Transport away from reception venue for himself and the bride
• The wedding night venue
• The honeymoon
• Press announcements of the wedding