Young Attendants
Young attendants are traditionally chosen from close relations or friends from either of the families. Their main function is to accompany the bride during the ceremony, look delightful, and add an element of innocent childlike charm and warmth to the wedding ceremony.
By tradition, the mothers of the young attendants each pay for their child's outfits, and so the bride should take care not to invite anyone whose parents would be unlikely to welcome the expense - unless the bride or her parents are willing to provide them. Whoever pays for the outfits and accessories, it is usual to allow the children to keep them after the wedding, unless they are hired.
It is worth remembering that whilst very small bridesmaids, flower girls and pages may make a beautiful addition to the bridal party, they will find standing still without talking during the service very difficult. It is common sense, therefore, to choose children of an age that can understand what is required and what is going on. The chief bridesmaid will also assist with this on the day, possibly accompanied by a small bag of sweets, to encourage good behaviour. However, a small word of warning - under no circumstances should children be given sugar BEFORE the ceremony!
It should be ensured that all the young attendants understand what is expected of them before and on the day, and parents should also be included so that they can have practice runs with the children before the big day itself. Whilst it is not essential to have all the attendants at the rehearsal, it can certainly help.
Ring Bearer
The role of the ring bearer is often given to the couple's own child to directly involve them in the ceremony. It is a role that can be carried out by a girl or a boy, and they can be dressed to match the other attendants or have a completely individual outfit. A young ring bearer may carry the ring or rings on a cushion, to be presented during the ceremony, whereas an older child would perhaps hold the rings in their boxes instead.
Flower Girl
Flower girls may walk in front of the bride scattering flower petals or confetti down the aisle. However, as many venues do not allow this, she may instead carry a basket of confetti or petals during the ceremony, and then distribute it outside at the end of the service.
If the flower girl is very young then it may be a good idea to let her make her entrance with the bride and then sit with her parents during the ceremony, rejoining the bridal party afterwards for the recessional.
Young Attendants' Duties
Before the wedding day, the young attendants (or their parents) need to:
- Discuss their dress or outfit with the bride, and establish who will pay for it
- Attend the wedding rehearsal
- Collect any hired clothes and accessories
On the day itself, they should:
- Get ready at the bride's home before travelling with the chief bridesmaid to the ceremony venue
Bear in mind that young children often tend to be more co-operative if their mum is not around, so plenty of helpers should be available.
At the ceremony, they will:
- Wait outside for the bride to arrive and then follow behind her and the chief bridesmaid as they make their entrance
- Stand behind the bride throughout the service, although very young ones should probably sit with their parents
- Leave the church after the chief bridesmaid
- Pose for photographs - this may take some time, so any shots including young attendants should probably be taken first
- Depart for the reception with the chief bridesmaid and any other bridesmaids
If children refuse to do what they are told it is often handy to resort to bribery - it's amazing what children will do for some sweets. Just make sure that they get their treat after and not prior to the ceremony!
